The Virtues Series: Episode 5 "To Build or To Break"

In that brief moment she knew her words mattered more than anything. Though ofcourse she was a little disappointed; it was their seventh attempt, and she was almost certain they would get it this time, but looking at those little eyes that met hers wet with mortification, she instantly realized what meant even more than winning some flimsy game; their feelings. 

So she smiled at them, much to their surprise, & lowered herself to collect them all in a big warm hug. "You guys were Amazing out there, seeing you all put in so much energy & enthusiasm, I loved it. And it doesn't matter that you're not going home with medals today, the key is to accept defeat without being defeated, and you'll always be winners whether you win or not"

And with that she placed broad smiles on all their faces, smiles that extended to their eyes in gratitude...but more than that, she had rebuilt their spirit...she had left them motivated to keep on believing in themselves...she had made an impact with her words that may last a lifetime...

So we always have a choice. Nothing is as priceless as that which you can never recover. When we dish out our words, we are unleashing something powerful, timeless & irretrievable. 

We could be overwhelmed with feelings like, hurt, anger, disappointment & pain but while these feelings are transient, the words we utter can last a lifetime. So even if we have all the right reasons to get angry for example, there can never be the right reason to be cruel with our words.

Also, when we think of how few words of kindness can brighten someone's entire day, few simple words of encouragement can lift someone up who's on the verge of a breakdown, how thoughtful motivational words can keep someone going, how would we want to miss out on these? 

The change we all dream of for the world can start with as little as giving careful thoughts & consideration to our words, generously sharing our kind & thoughtful words and also generously withholding those hurtful words that tug at our throats even justifiably...

It can start with as little as choosing to build instead of break with our words...we may not see it but there's a ripple effect too...and it does improve the world, one moment, one person, one day at a time...

The Virtues Series: Episode 4 "I helped Myself"

"What is so hard?" She asked, after hearing her daughter mumble words she probably wasn't supposed to hear.

She watched her pause a little, before she gave in...She needed to air out how she was feeling anyway...

"Umma, some people make it so hard to keep on helping them really..."

"But how so?"

"You know I invested my time, savings & effort to assist these people & what did i get in return? No common courtesy...no gratitude, no acknowledgement; quite the opposite of what i ever expected really..."

"Ahh but did you really help them?" She smiled, watching the surprised look on her little girl's face...she must've been wondering why she'd ask her such a question after she just finished giving the answer...

"Yes Umma, I really did all that for them..."

"But who's account was getting fattened with good deeds? Or you don't want your reward from Allah then?" She nudged her a little.

"Hmm..." her daughter replied, contemplating.

"Dont get me wrong, it's alright to feel a little upset at the wrong behavior of others,...but don't let shaytaan convince you through such events that it's hard to continue doing good...if you remember for who's sake you ought to do every good, & the reward He has promised in return then it wont be so hard to keep up after all...

You know, whenever I'm tempted to relent, feel bad, get offended by people's lack of acknowledgement or gratitude for any good thing I've done for them, I try to remind myself that I shouldn't even be expecting that in the first place...Just like you don't expect to be thanked for eating, or sleeping, or taking your medications, the good you do for others is for your own benefit first & foremost...it is only adding up to your account with Allaah...that is ofcourse if you do it with the intention of seeking His reward & pleasure alone....

And even that in itself is a mercy & favor from Allah, for only He has granted you that ability to even do those things & then He rewards you on top of that if you channel your abilities towards doing good for His sake...

So what do you say we take up this Slogan every time we are able to help others,...whether or not they give thanks or acknowledge what we've done is up to them...Let's tell ourselves these three words;

"I helped myself" they echoed, 

"by the will of Allah" she added, & smiled.

"The good you do for others is good you do for yourself"

May Allah increase our humility & sincerity & enable us to channel our intentions to Him alone. May we realize every time we are able to do good, that it's for our benefit, even when it seems as though we are benefiting others, may we realize it is only by His will & Mercy too & be grateful & may He accept every good we do, & forgive our mistakes, & be pleased with us all. Aameen.

The Virtues Series: Episode 3 "Another Way to Think..."

"Do you think she'll still forgive me?" She said, as I scanned her worried eyes wondering what to tell her now.

She had been on and on about this one matter, & it had caused her much unrest.
"Why don't you call her and apologize" I had said earlier.

"I don't even have her phone number, I have no way to contact her and no one to ask...I mean, I barely even know her.." she was on the verge of tears.

"I didnt mean to hurt her like that,...I was...angry & I completely misunderstood her...She must think I'm a terrible person" 

Now she let the tears flow freely...and I wanted to hug her & wipe those tears away & tell her she was forgiven...but instead I found myself lost in my own realm of thoughts...

Seeing my friend feel so bad about something she had done to someone; something she didnt realize while she was doing...made me think of the times I've been hurt by others...what if those times they didn't realize its gravity too? What if they went on feeling so bad afterwards but didn't have the means to apologise? What if it was all a misunderstanding? What if they did it ignorantly?

And here was my poor friend beating herself up over what she's done now, after realizing her mistake...but she was right, the one whom she has offended may never actually get to know...she may well not think so goodly of her and feel justified to do so...
Unless she thought differently...

Truly, there could be so much more to the story when someone wrongs us...so many what ifs we could go through, & it might just be one of them...they could be feeling sorry about it but unable to express it...they could've done what they did in ignorance, it could've been a misunderstanding...but how many times do we actually think about all these?

And though we must not forgive people only when we think they deserve it, for we ought to be generous with our forgiveness and extend it to even those who do not seem to have earned it…but sometimes the aftermath of their actions may still linger in our hearts and we’ll find it hard to forget or think goodly of them unless we can come up with reasons and excuses for them…

“When anyone says or does something that annoys or grieves one, he should try to find excuses for him and recall the status of the righteous who used to think well of their fellows and make excuses for them. They would say, “You should make seventy excuses for your brother.”Ibn Seereen said, “If you come to know that a brother has harmed you with either a word or a deed, you should make an excuse for him; if you did not find one, you should say, ‘There may be an excuse that I do not know of.’”

And so i took my friend's palm in mine, feeling hopeful..."In sha Allaah" I said, more to myself than to her...
...for I had just been reminded of another way to prevent myself from assuming the worst of others…I had just been reminded of another way to  think...

The Virtues Series: Episode 2 "Greetings & Smiles"

He looked as though he had been there for a while; an elderly man in his late fifties. She saw as he wiped off the sweat that travelled down his face, while he swept dried leaves off the street. 

"Merhaba" She waved, drawing nearer to him on her way to her department. It was one of the few words she knew in turkish, & thankfully that sufficed as a greeting. 

"Merhaba" he waved back, his lips curving into a grateful smile, as if it was a part of his burden she had just lifted, as if she had just acknowledged his hard work...

They clocked eyes in the kitchen, and she greeted her with a smile. She was on the phone in a hurry to catch the bus, oblivious of the impact of her small gesture on a girl she didn't know. 

It had become a part of her. Hearing her mother say it over and over again, she had learned to greet one and all, "even if you're seeing them for the 10th time in the day" as she would always add, completing her lesson with a reminder of the hadith. 

Abdullah bin 'Amr bin Al-'as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:
A man asked the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): "Which act in Islam is the best?" He (ﷺ) replied, "To give food, and to greet everyone, whether you know them or you do not."
[Bukhari & Muslim]

And so she did. Each time wrapping it up with a smile.

Maybe it meant more to them than she realized. Or maybe, it meant only the apparent. To her she was fulfilling her duty to her Lord, obeying the commands of the beloved prophet salAllaahu alayhi wa sallam, & striving to imbibe the best of deeds.

Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said:
“You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you about something which, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread salaam (the greeting of peace) among you.” (Muslim)

Isn't it beautiful how simple short words, or such brief gestures could carry so much weight and be the root of love between people, creating bonds sometimes and breaking barriers; making friends out of strangers or just opening doorways to even more good?

And each time you smile or greet a stranger, a friend, a neighbor or family, it represents an opportunity to earn the pleasure of Allah, and earn Jannah...it establishes humility in your heart, & you'll be spreading the essence of your deen...and even when your greetings aren't met with a worthy response, even then be thankful because those times will serve to keep you focused on the one for who's sake you should do all good.

The best of greetings is the greeting of peace, Assalaamu Alaikum  (may peace be upon you) & when we are greeted, we should respond with the same or even more, (wa Alaikumussalaam wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuhu)

"May we greet each other with a smile, a hug & speak kind words"